milli
Stranger
smile while you can
Posts: 44
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Post by milli on Nov 1, 2006 20:22:02 GMT -5
i was looking at this board and started thinking about the last poem i wrote.. which was a loooonnnngggg time ago so - i decided to write a new one and share it while I'm at it ^^
here we go!! ^.^
oh how sad is the tale of the fallen the ones that turned deft ears when they were call-en they dismissed the pleads- the cries of despair they pretended that no one was ever really there and why do you ask- did they do such a thing? jealousy perhaps? the echo of cries ring these angels of heaven had eyes- green with envy they were clouded and and full of something unheavenly their sea of selfish tears that blinded them in the end was hot with blood hate, and remarkably full of sin but as they all listened their eyes went wide something from within cut them outside their wings began to cringe- began to char-began to break- and they fell far- into a flame that would forsake down to the depths where another was sent to a new sea- of fire- and resentment pain coursed through them- that would never die and neither would they- and never again would they fly forsaken and forgotten- their hearts turned cold the one they wished love- left them for the scold a punishment for the goats- that were not sheep of the flock and sooner then later would all be forgot.
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milli
Stranger
smile while you can
Posts: 44
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Post by milli on Nov 1, 2006 20:25:16 GMT -5
hrmm.. it was alittle choppy.. oh well XD i think i'll call it forsaken.. idk.. i might fix it up a bit later..well.. there we go- a new way to waiste two seconds of your life! yay me! XD
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Toxic Shadow
Resident
Three pretty little words; they'll hurt you in the end
Posts: 163
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Post by Toxic Shadow on Nov 1, 2006 22:46:50 GMT -5
Wow, I really like this one even if you say its "choppy." Knowing you as I do, I'm gonna take a guess at what this is about. An angel turning into a fallen angel and what happens to them in hell?
It reminds me of what you described when Silence was forced there.
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milli
Stranger
smile while you can
Posts: 44
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Post by milli on Nov 2, 2006 0:10:12 GMT -5
yesh- it's simalar i suppose.. thought there are alot of differences in this poem verses the story- ex: silence fell on duty,lol. but thank-a-you ^^ it really could use a bit of rewording..like the ending line doesn't fell right XP
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